


Tiny House Hunters: Eos Edition

by artyartie



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Adorable Prompto Argentum, Caring Gladiolus Amicitia, Domestic Fluff, Fishing, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Flustered Ignis Scientia, Gen, Noctis Lucis Caelum is a Brat, Vegetables, more fluff than a chocobo farm, what happens when you watch HGTV with FFXV on the brain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 16:05:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14429196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artyartie/pseuds/artyartie
Summary: What happens when you watch Tiny Househunters after you have been fully immersed in the wonder that is FFXV. Just a completely fluffy crack-fic that is somehow canon compliant, and my first (and, I hope, not last), contribution to the fandom.





	Tiny House Hunters: Eos Edition

_“All across Eos, people are going tiny-”_

“Prompto,” Ignis said, bowing his head and pinching at the bridge of his nose, “do you really have to do the introduction?”

_“Shhh! It’s part of the charm! People are going tiny - real tiny!”_

Gladio crossed his arms across his broad and mostly bare chest. “Because the tent isn’t small enough.”

_“Cozy! People are going cozy! On today’s episode, Noctis is a vagabond prince-”_

“Really? Vagabond?” Noct brushed his perpetually-in-his-eyes hair out of his eyes. “Have you been reading Gladio’s bodice rippers?”

_“Hey! I….maybe?”_

Gladio snorted. “At least some of us can read something besides a King’s Knight inventory sheet. Besides, the Dawn Pirate was a gentleman. He didn’t rip Lady Lilith’s bodice. He unlaced it very carefully.” The bigger man couldn’t help the blush that creeped into his cheeks. “And very slowly.”

_“Umm...ahhh….where was I? Oh! Noctis is a plain old prince who just wants a comfy place to sleep-”_

Noctis tched in disapproval, but didn’t bother correcting Prompto. This time.

_“Iggy is an adorkable grumpypants who wants stainless steel appliances and for everyone to stay out of his kitchen-”_

Ignis just stared at Prompto over his glasses and the can of Ebony held to his lips, with a low ‘hmmm’ that was somehow both non-committal and judgmental.

_“And Gladio just wants to go on all the hunts so he can show off his muscles and get enough gil so we can stay in hotel rooms all the way to Altissia-”_

Gladio shrugged, doing his best to ignore Noctis, who wanted to know why Prompto wasn’t calling him adorable. “So what if I do? Seriously, if we want a little house-”

_“Tiny house.”_

“Whatever. They all mean a house too godsdamned small for me to move around in. So if we want one, there’s one, right there.” Gladio grunted and gestured to the decrepit caravan at the edge of the gas station. “I bet you Cid would pay us to haul that thing away.”

Noct recoiled. “We are NOT hauling that anywhere near the Regalia.”

“Fuel is already a significant expense already,” Ignis said, removing his glasses and rubbing them with his shirt. By the Six, that caravan didn’t look any better even slightly blurred around the edges. “Towing...that thing.. would take gil we don’t have.”

“Wait, you all don’t have any gil?” A petite brunette in a smart ecru linen blazer looked in confusion to Prompto and his camera. She nodded in Noctis’ direction. “You said he was a prince.”

_“He is a prince! This might be more of a...research trip but we’re still super interested!”_

Three silent gazes all converged on Prompto.

_“Okay, I’m super interested and these guys don’t have anything else to do because we kinda did all the hunts for the week and the Regalia is in the shop, again-”_

Ignis sputtered as his fingers curled a little more tightly around his Ebony. “Because I swerved to avoid hitting one of those damn birds you’re so besotted with. You made Noctis knight me for my bravery!”

_“I WAS getting to the Regalia’s noble sacrifice-”_

“The car sacrificed nothing. My dignity, on the other hand,” Ignis muttered.

“Awww, c’mon,” Gladio said, draping a meaty arm around Ignis’ stiff shoulders. “Duke Scientia, First of His Name, Savior of Chocobos has a great ring to it.”

The realtor looked between the four young men, her right foot already stepping back. Then she shook her head and gave Prompto’s camera a carefree grin. “You four have been the first clients I’ve had since, well-” She didn’t need to remind the prince and his retinue what happened. “We’ll have fun, look at some houses, and the only thing you have to buy is a Hammerhead Reality mug.” She held out her hand to the lanky royal. “How does that sound.”

“Like we have a deal,” Noctis said, with a grin and a firm handshake  “But you have to do something first.”

“Of course,” she said. ‘What is it?”

“Ask Prompto why he wants a tiny house,” Noctis said, before darting his hand forward and plucking the blond’s phone out of his hand. He trained the phone on Prompto, who blushed and rubbed at the back of his head. “So we can have it for the camera.”

She chuckled, along with Gladio and Ignis. “He has a point,” she said to Prompto. “You told us what everyone else wants except you.”

“That’s easy,” Prompto said, grinning widely at the camera phone he was usually behind. “I want what everyone else on the show wants. Adorable houses, wacky hijinks, and totally unrealistic expectations.”


End file.
